The Kiss


In a crowded place you found your embrace,
and my sun shone bright enough for two.

Captain Slog

No one knows this captain, but he is in every episode, by name only.  He exists, and the log of Slog will exist very soon.

The bird had been hard at work for a week.  He hopped backwards to take a look at the fruits of his labours.  It was impressive, no doubt, but it was still nowhere near his vision.  His heart grew heavy at the thought of all the time and work needed to realise the new brain, the new world, but he was now determined more than ever to strengthen his resolve and finish what he started.

He caught movement in the corner of his eye and glanced outwards.  Creatures of all kinds were stood watching, wondering what this crazy bird was doing.  Among them was an old owl with ancient piercing wise eyes.   The owl flew forward and hopped besides the little bird and his new brain.  He looked long and hard at the creation.

"I can help you" he said.  "I've done this before"

....Far to the south, crashing through jungle and forest and plains, a kingly lion ran north as fast as his old legs would carry him.

The bird had been flying for weeks, surveying the area and mentally making preparations for the mighty task that lay ahead.  He was exhausted, he had barely slept in days.  His feet had rarely touched the ground.

This was big, he thought.  He was going to build something no other bird had built before.  It would take time, it would take effort, it would take hard work and patience and it might even cost him his sanity.  The bird knew deep down, knew to the very deepest atom that was still connected to the cosmos, he knew that it would bring him and everyone in his flock happiness, security, love and abundance.  He needed to build a new brain.

And deep in the distance, at that exact same moment, a lion roared.......

I'm aiming for the right now, that is the current level.  

I have faith that there is a next level.

I'm on my own level.

I'm taking a walk in the sunshine and listening to the birds.  The sun really is coming, and that's alright.

Smiles are returning to their faces, all of them.  This is easy today, easy like Sunday mornings.   Maybe I don't need to fake it....

New adventures in my fortress of solitude.

Lets see what appears

The path may be long as it twists and turns, but dont forget to enjoy the little things along the way.  Such as this little shop.  It has the finest collection of hats I have ever seen, guaranteed to have something to top the head of any dapper.

They say love is measured by the sacrifices you make.

I'll don my armour, pick up my morning star and keep fighting for the goddesses.  Blows will bounce of me, and all who come close will be crushed.  I am unstoppable, through this world and all others.  When the dust is settled, I will fall to my knees and bless the carnage, and salute those who still have the strength and will to stand with me, or against me.  And so the dance continues.

This is something I need to say, to both of you.  This is something I need to release from inside of me, this is pure, this is raw, this is my truth.  This is not hidden behind the manipulations and flourishes of words.  This is me, my soul laid bare before you both, in reverence, in humility, in supplication.

I mourn the loss of the three of us.  I mourn the loss of what we had begun to create.  As much as I love the Island Princess, and I do... it now feels two dimensional.  I do not want a relationship with her that does not involve my wife. Maybe that is a good thing, maybe it's not, I don't know - but I do know that I hate the way I feel lately.  I am pulled to you both and right now I feel like I am being torn in half.  This is all my doing.  I created this situation, I made this MY cake, not ours.  I dictated the ingredients, the bake time, the toppings, even the size.  I did not once stop to ask how to make this cake palatable to the one person who let me to make it for us.  I was a selfish bastard.

The Imperfect Perfectionist... I'm sorry for distorting your view with my lens.  I'm sorry for bringing conflict between two amazing ladies who share a bond and connection that I cannot even begin to comprehend.  The person she becomes when she is with you shines so bright that the thought of never seeing that again fills me with hireath.

My Delicate Chaos... In the rush of new energy, I forgot so much.  I forgot our beginnings, the relationship we created out of hate, mistrust and anger.  I forgot all the times we held on to each other in the dark, making plans for our greatness.  I forgot the promises we made to each other, I forgot that you are my wife, the mother of our child, the one person who holds every single piece of me together.  I assumed that I knew what was best, and I forgot to let you make your own decisions.  My actions may have damaged us permanently, and I can never forgive myself for that.  I can promise you, that never again will I forget that you are the wind that lets me fly.  Without you, I am only me.

My ladies of synergy - I deeply hope that there is a way we can all move past this.  That we can again begin to discover this new form of love - together.  I realise that it might no longer be possible.  I've accepted that, and I've also accepted the responsibility.

I am ready to let healing begin.

I love you both.

Aderyn Am Ddim.